


the unforgettable miss mary bennet

by SearchingforSerendipity



Category: AUSTEN Jane - Works, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Genre: Ambition, Character Study, Feminist Themes, Gen, Literature, Middle Child, Patriarchy, Post-Canon, Religious Themes, Sexism, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-09 02:20:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6885256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SearchingforSerendipity/pseuds/SearchingforSerendipity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Despite popular understanding, Mary Bennet was not in love with Mr. Collins. She wanted to <em>be</em> Mr. Collins.</p><p>This, while a small difference unknown to the rest of world, meant a world of difference to her.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	the unforgettable miss mary bennet

Despite popular understanding of the speculative sort, Mary Bennet was not in love with Mr. Collins. She wanted to _be_ Mr. Collins.

This, she would later grow to understand, was not entirely correct. She had wanted to have his position, to be sure, his means and independence, but never truly did she ever want to lower herself as to be someone other than herself.

He was as plain and graceless as she, with as little natural charm and ease of character as she, yet their prospects were interest different due only to an accident of sex. Mary might not be as witty as Lizzie, as bold as Lydia and Kitty or as sweet as Jane, but she had ambition. Not in the way of Miss Bingley, who clearly used her womanly charms and genteel education to further her situation in life, but she knew what she wanted, even if she had little mean to attain it.

This is what she wanted: the pulpit. Her voice ringing in a temple's stone, uplifting the parishioner's hearts to the greatness of God's word (the greatness of _mary's_ word. she did not want money or standing or even love. she wanted awe, respect, silence when she spoke. she wanted to own people's convictions and turn them to good and true pursuits, and she wanted them to thank her for it).

The Bible spoke of Eve's Fall caused by temptation, temptation caused by gluttony and envy. Mary was both gluttonous and envious, she knew that well enough. But gluttony alone did not make greatness, or even a particularly exceptional sort of evil. Envy, though, she could harness for worthy persuits. She had been channeling her spite towards her family in her musical practice for years, after all.

But she did have sisters. Married, affluent sisters, one of whom gave her Mary Wollstonecraft's books as a lark for Christmas. Mary could well picture Lizzie's arch smile as she bought the books, good humor never truly kind. In any case, she thanked her for the gift. She read the books. She was illuminated, educated, emancipated. Most marvelous of all, Mary was inspired.

That women were supposed to live by men and only because of men she knew well enough. It had been taught by her to Fordyce, the Scripture, her mother's every shrill predictions of disgrace and request of more moneys to her husband. Mr. Bennet could hardly be bothered by much other than his books, his Lizzie and his solitude, but that was not shy he knew Mary so little and so badly. She had long understood the power he had over her, and seeing no way to gain favor, being refused and belittled by her efforts, decided to take leave of worries of his good opinion, with hopes of lessening her dependence inn him, if only emotionally. This, she had told herself many times, made her a perfectly decent daughter, and it was by no fault of character of her won that her parents hardly noticed her existence. 

Mary was not, after all, married. She had the same dower than she had before Netherfield had been let; the same worries, the same life. The only thing differing was her insight, and her opportunities. It was clear to her that when he  father died, Mama would go to the Bingley's. Mary could go to them, find succor in Pemberley's library or join Kitty in whatever state she might find herself. At the most, she might become a governess or woman's companion of some sort. These were the options society dictated young, unmarried bluestockings to have.

These were the options she considered, calculated and refused. 

She might never stand before a pulpit, she might stutter and speak softly, have little earthy means to commend herself. Very well. Many scholars and saints had started their illustrious carriers with much less. She had an allowance for ink, paper, more books. She had knowledge, if ill begotten- Papa left more and more often to find refuge with his preferred daughters, leaving his bountiful library open to raids. She had envy, ambition, spite enough to fuel a forest fire.

No one expected anything particularly good out of her, much less great. All the best. Mary Bennet had much to prove, and a bone to pick with the world who thought her less for being plain, female, bookish, forgettable Mary.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me on [tumblr](http://searchingforserendipity25.tumblr.com).


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